When it comes to the possibility of finding a potential partner in life, we are at the mercy of science. Yes, science. Believe or not, aside from launching rovers to Mars and dissecting disemboweled mammals, scientists also get busy with tearing romance apart into its individual strands in order to shed more light into why we go crazy about romance and loony over the concept of finding someone we can spend our lives with.
We Are Wired to Mate
As humans, we are genetically built to make a lot of busywork to get a sperm to meet an egg. We are biologically manufactured to breed. In simple terms, we are created to mate, bore an offspring, and then die. Romance is a huge factor in the human’s basic function to procreate and become reproductive machines. The true-love thrill is part of an intricate and often complicated screening process of how we choose our partners.
To explain further, science posits that humans as procreating machines do not mate with just about anyone. As humans, we are genetically designed to choose who to have sex with based on another person’s genetic qualities. For instance, when we are attracted to someone, it does not mean that that other person is also attracted to us. We do not exactly volunteer ourselves to other people and become their babymaking machines. Although some of us might say that they would have sex with just about anyone if given a chance, the truth is, as much as possible, we want to get laid with someone who is a genetic goldmine.
Science, through studies conducted on flirting and what attracts us romantically, also provides tips on how we can effectively attract a prospect partner. Aside from providing a scientific explanation on the correlation of romance and procreation, scientists also came up with helpful hints on how men can become successful with girls and become a desirable partner.
Women Date Men Who Are Providers
If you think that the term “provider” only translates into the dating scene as someone who pays up the tab and lavishes his date with expensive gifts, then you are wrong. Aside from obvious signs that you are a provider—successful career, healthy bank account, good social status and educational attainment—women also look at your physical fitness as a good sign of your being a great provider. Men with strong shoulders and broad chests are deemed as good providers. These are also seen as a sign of a healthy flow of testosterone, which is a good indication of strength and fertility.
If you think you have lanky shoulders, it is time that you visit the gym. Focus on exercises that can make your shoulders and chest broader and stronger. At the same time, aside from ensuring that you are physically fit to be a provider, you also need to make sure that you are financially and mentally healthy.
Deep and Manly Voice is Seductive for Women
Ever wonder why disc jockeys date hot girls? Science explains that men with a deep and manly voice are more attractive to women because a rich and testosterone-driven voice is more seductive. Guys with a rich and low voice are deemed by women as guys with sexually appealing features such as broad shoulders and strong arms.
If you are a guy with the voice of a chipmunk, you can still increase your chances of getting a girl attracted to you by learning how to make your voice sound more virile and masculine. There is a lot of deep voice modulation exercises that you can follow to make your voice sound naturally richer and lower. Humming, for instance, is a good way to naturally modulate your voice.
Learn the Art of Mirroring
Mirroring is a term for copying the physical gestures of someone you are attracted to. Studies confirmed that people who are attracted to each other copy each other’s gestures. Science suggests that mirroring other people’s body language is a form of great communication, and it also shows that the other person reciprocates our interests.
If you are at a bar and talking to a girl, keep in mind to sit or stand opposite her so she can see your facial expressions and physical gestures. Mirror to build rapport. And although theoretically, you need to do it on purpose, make sure that you mirror your date’s gestures as subtle as possible. The downside is that if your date finds that you are intentionally copying her and that you copy every little thing she does, including licking her lips and flicking her hair, you will come off either creepy or annoying or both.
Women Use Social Proof to Find the Right Partner
Believe it or not guys, women assess your attractiveness and social value starting from that moment you step into a bar. If other people light up when they see you and feel comfortable talking to you, there is a high chance that the Brazilian model across the table would want to chat with you too. In crowded settings such as a bar, women choose men to chat with by filtering information on how strangers, the bartender, other girls, and even the waiters react to you. If you have this positive vibe going and other people respond to you in an affirmative way, women are given a social proof that you are a guy worth spending time with.
Keep in mind that girls search for social proof unconsciously, so you will not see tell-tale signs that you are being “socially investigated” by someone you want to possibly date. The point of social proof is that you have to be someone who can interact well with others, including people who are complete strangers and those whom you think are below your wavelength.
Social proof is basically a process of pre-selection. If other people want you, the more people will want you. If other women find you attractive, more women will find you attractive as well. You do not need to be super friendly and bubbly. Just do not be that asshole who thinks too highly of himself and chugs beer at the far end corner of the bar. Create an implied cognition that you are a good guy and that people can talk easily and comfortably with you anytime.