Dating websites has made it possible for men to find compatible matches by simply browsing through profiles, sending a well-written first message, and making themselves look desirable online. Online dating may have made it more convenient for most men to find a girlfriend since they only have to log-in and choose the most interesting woman to date from the gazillions of profiles available.

However, this sense of convenience does not necessarily translate to the ease of finding someone to date.  Aside from learning that online dating is not as quick as you think it is, which we will discuss further, there are other things that you need to know to avoid a possible online dating malady.

Online Dating Also Takes Time

Yes, online dating websites have given men quick access to a number of single and completely available women, but this does not ineludibly make the dating process relatively super easy. Despite the access to an unbelievable number of profiles online, men still need to go through the rigorous process of being chosen and being rejected.

The World Wide Web may have made communication abnormally fast and expedient, but as for online dating, you need to actually connect with someone for her to see whether you are actually worth dating in real life or not. You may think that your heart and your manliness are not built to withstand the shitty truth that online dating also takes time, but it really does take time. Yes, time is a big slut and she screws everything up including online dating.

Getting a girl online is not as easy as making instant popcorn that you just put it inside the microwave and then bam! You now have a ready-to-eat-snack with all the dangers of cancer. Online dating is not as quick as that. There is, in fact, a process that is way similar to actual dating in real life and it may take more time that you expected.

Constant Rejection is Inevitable

If you have been using online dating websites to find women to date or to hook up with, you will know that no matter how good-looking or well-endowed you say you are, you are still in for constant rejection. The Information Age has made it easy for people to get rejected online. If before the Internet the only way to get rejected is when someone refuses to voluntarily give her hand to you in marriage, in the modern era, being rejected is as easy as not accepting your Facebook friend request or not responding to your elegantly written first message.

Constant rejection is unavoidable, and that is the risk you need to face from day to day when using an online dating website. However, this does not necessarily mean that you have to marinate in your low self-esteem and depression. The truth is people get rejected all the time on online dating sites. Even the Ryan Goslings or Adam Sambergs of the world get rejected too. For sure, you have also ignored messages from some girls online as well, so you do not need to get all clinically depressed about getting rejected online. If you are not open to rejection, then you should stop using online dating websites because you are only in for total disappointment.

Remember that online dating is just a means to find someone you can have a relationship with. It may make you feel like an unlovable psycho from time to time when you get rejected by some women, but it does not end there. Sooner or later, you will find someone whom you can connect and build a lasting relationship with.

Managing Expectations Should be a Skill

Match-based online dating sites are extremely helpful in finding someone attractive that you can connect with since these sites have made it their life goal to match you with someone that shares something in common with you. With these sites, it is more convenient to find someone you can connect with on a deeper level since match-based online dating websites have done all the research work to give you someone that has the personality attributes, hobbies, and values that are similar to yours.

However, even when you are allowing match-based online dating websites to find the right girl for you, most of the time, some of the matches are really not what you are expecting. Here is a 411 for you: Match-based online dating sites try their very best to match you with a single woman based on factors such as compatibility and attraction. However, you cannot expect the websites to give a perfect match all the time. There will always be a woman from the match results who does not meet your criteria for someone to date.

These websites use an algorithm or elves or a pack of working werewolves to match people on several factors they have listed in their profiles and questionnaires such as their love for Star Wars or say their hatred for men and women with smelly feet. Yet, although these websites do try their best, they cannot always satisfy every man’s criteria for a perfect girlfriend material.

However, this is, in fact, a good thing, because match-based online dating websites give you the opportunity to meet other women outside of your usual type. It provides you with a way to connect with different women and break free from what your concept of a perfect mate is. You will be surprised that although you have initial reservations about dating women that is beyond the stereotypical women that you want to date, you will find that you can actually connect with these women on a deeper, meaningful level.

Yes, you have life partner material criteria set up, but it is a fun adventure to explore and know women who are different from what you want for a girlfriend. The truth is, you will never know what you really want unless you go out of your comfort cocoon and take the risks of completely getting to know the woman that you are dating. What we want you take away from here is that when using a match-based online dating website, you need to keep your expectations in line with reality check. There are Mila Kunis- and Kate Upton-types out there waiting for their perfect match, but it does not guarantee that you are that match.

There are numerous articles online stating that people have grown up to become pussies that they cannot make a move and say what they want in a relationship. Have we really grown too scared to get what we want out of our relationships? Have we gone so paranoid that we think voicing out our wants and needs with our partners is completely neurotic? Is it shameful to know what you want and ask for it from your partner?

Is it Crazy that Men Have Needs Too?

There is nothing psychotic about having needs and wants especially when you are in a committed, long-term relationship. Whether you want some changes in your sex routines or you want your girlfriend to be more considerate of your lifestyle choices, there is nothing wrong with letting her know what you think is good for your relationship. People have needs that they want to satisfy, and there is nothing crazy about it unless what you want from your girlfriend is for her to become the star of your violent sexual fantasies.

But as for normal needs and wants, you have to let your woman know about them. Telling her what you need and want in your relationship is a clear indication that you want your relationship to last. However, you cannot expect that all your wishes for your relationship will be granted. Your girlfriend is not a genie; she is a human being who has needs of her own as well.

The important thing to remember when laying out what you want and need to make the relationship work for the best is not to demand it from your girlfriend. A healthy discussion about both your needs and wants is a good way to make sure that what you want to get out of your relationship is in line with her wants as well. If you cannot meet halfway then it is time to assess if what you are asking is realistically attainable. Sometimes, you also need to check if what you want is actually something that your girlfriend can provide.

Communication is Key

We here at Get Girls Guide believe that there is nothing wrong about knowing what you want to get out of a relationship and that it is completely okay to voice it out to your partner. A relationship is built on mutual trust and is fuelled by a healthy dose of communication. Although some men would argue that having a relationship talk is not manly nor it is that important to make a relationship last, making sure that you maintain an open line of communication with your partner is highly crucial to strengthen your bond. Having a relationship talk from time to time is necessary so that you can assess where you are in your relationship and you can determine what else you can do to become a better partner.

Those participating in the world of modern dating have grown allergic to honesty that they are too petrified of saying what they think should be done and not done in their relationships due to the risk of being judged as crazy, manipulative, and overly demanding. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with expressing what you want and need in a relationship provided that you communicate it with your partner in a way that is respectful of her decisions as your girlfriend.

First dates can be intimidating for most guys especially when they have been dateless for years because nobody thinks they are desirable enough or simply because they just got out of a relationship. What makes first dates intimidating is that it is heavily loaded with expectancy. Most men who are seeing someone for the first time on a date are overly worried about impressing women.

Will she like me? Will I find her attractive enough? Will she go out with me again? Those are just some of the shitty questions that men constantly ask themselves when on a date. They are too focused on saying and doing the right things during their dates that they end up not enjoying the date itself.
Here are some of the biggest mistakes that men do during the first date—and we hope that you avoid them.

They Treat First Dates as Job Interviews

It is inevitable that during the first date, you want to impress the woman you are dating, and accordingly, you also want to be impressed by her. We get it, when you meet people with the prospect of romance, you want to flaunt your best assets in order for her to gauge you as a great man. However, focusing too much on impressing the other person hinders you from actually connecting with her personally.

A first date is not a job interview, and you do not have to wow her with your achievements in your company or with the number of Air Jordans you have in your collection. When you are out on a date with the purpose of impressing your date alone, you will end up becoming overly self-conscious that you bombard her with too much information that she does not need to know in the first place.

They Treat First Dates as Competitions

There will be days when you will meet successful and highly-accomplished woman on a first date. This is good especially when you want to date a woman who is smart, powerful, and an achiever. But this can also be intimidating mostly when you realize that she has achieved more than what you have had in your lifetime. At this point, it is too easy for most men to channel their competitive spirit and spew out irrelevant achievements just to make them feel better about themselves.

Sometimes men cannot help but become competitive when facing women who are intelligent, attractive, and literally do not need any guy to uplift their self-worth. When dating a highly successful woman, there is a huge risk of her puncturing your inflated ego. Piece of advice: Never date one if you cannot accept the fact that she is a better man than you are. And if ever you managed to date one, stop competing about who has achieved better in life. She is your date and not your college nemesis.

It is clearly impossible to avoid not thinking too much about the first date, but this does not mean that you have to worry too much about not screwing yourself up or offending your date. Relax, it is just a first date, and the purpose of that first date is for you know the woman better.

Online dating was once considered as the main domain of the geeky or nerdy type of guys and men who are extremely socially awkward. Back in the days when online dating was new, most of the men women would choose to date would not resort to setting up profiles online just to find someone to date. They would go to bars or check their network of friend’s friends for possible date prospects. Now, however, with the increasing dominance of social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter and the number of dating websites that cater to almost all genders, online dating has indeed come a long way from being the sole jurisdiction of the nerds.

Today, online dating has become a new source for people to find other individuals to take out on a decent date as there are a number of online dating sites designed for people who are genuinely looking for a relationship. In addition, there are also online dating sites that are created for those who are only looking for a casual hook-up. If you are feeling horny, there are websites you can log onto to find someone you can bang provided that she will be more than willing to open her legs for you.
If you have been frequenting different online dating sites much like you visit bars, yet you still end up girlfriend-less, there are things you need to assess when it comes to your online dating pattern. It is easy to say that the World Wide Web has made it simple for most men to find love since a plethora of dating sites offer them different profiles of women the same way Japanese buffet restaurants offer sashimi on a platter. But the truth is, most women who set up dating websites have learned to be discerning and meticulous when it comes to finding love online. If you are eager to find a date online, here are some of the things you need to check in order to be really successful with online dating.

1. Is Your Profile Dead?

Most men are intimidated by the profile-making process because they find it difficult to make themselves appear interesting by highlighting their assets and good traits without the risk of becoming overconfident.  However, if you really want to find love online, you need to build a well-written profile. Online dating websites require members to set-up profiles because it is one great way of making women interested in you. Your shirtless body pictures are also a good way of luring possible date prospects. However, if your profile is unique and is not made up of horrible lies about yourself, then it gives you a huge chance of making a great first impression.

The key to creating a good profile paragraph about yourself is by being true to yourself and to the people who will visit your profile. Honesty may not be a dominant trait in people who use online dating websites, but it does not mean that you have to create a profile based on lies. To ensure that you are creating a profile paragraph that is a true reflection of yourself, have your friends over when you create your profile. Your best buddies will help you weed out lies from your profile since they know you better than anyone else. Again, when you create your profile, you must make sure that the description you write on your profile paragraph is a genuine description of the kind of man that you are. Write lies and you will end up disappointing the women who agreed to meet you in person and will only prompt them to spread negative feedback about you online.

2. Are You Using Your Own Photos?

Being honest and true to yourself will not start and end in the profile paragraph. This means that if you ever decide to post photos on your profile, you must use your own photos. Yes, Ian Somerhalder and Ryan Gosling are the stars of every girl’s sexual fantasies, but that does not mean that you have to use their pictures in order to lure girls to date you. You may not have to-die-for abs or fashion-magazine-worthy looks, but it does not mean that you have to resort to being someone else’s poser to become interesting online. Posers are creepy, and remember that women hate dishonesty.
If you cannot even post your own pictures online, how can you expect other people to like you for who you really are? Yes, online dating is much like the real world where hot guys are noticed first, but it does not necessarily mean that you will not get noticed. The world of online dating is so huge, and there are a lot of women who are seeking for a real gentleman to become their boyfriend. With a good profile and a flattering picture of yourself, there are a lot of chances for you to be chosen.

3. Do You Discriminate When Replying to Messages?

If you are getting so much attention with your well-written profile and a bunch of recent and really attractive photos, it will not be impossible that you will also get attention from women whom you do not find interesting enough. You may be tempted to not reply to their messages and only reply to those whom you think matches your description of a potential girlfriend. Our piece of advice is to reply to every message whether you think the sender is girlfriend material or not.
Everyone deserves to be acknowledged, and replying to their messages will not necessarily mean that you want to date all of them. If you get message from girls that you do not think you would date, just give them a “Thank You” message for visiting your profile and keep the succeeding messages at a friendly level. If they are being persistent, you can simply thank them for their interest and inform them that you do not feel that you are a match and wish them luck in finding what they are really looking for online. Sometimes it is easy to ignore girls who are not dating material, but remember that it took them so much courage to send that first message, and the only appropriate thing to do if you are a real gentleman is to say “Thank You.”

Valentine’s Day is way past already, but you still cannot ignore the glaring truth that you have been alone since Cupid’s day and have not managed to score a decent date for yourself even until today. That is fucked-up really, but have you ever assessed why women, even those who are overwhelmingly drunk at bars, refuse to go out with you? You might score high on the intelligence and attractiveness meter, but if your character score sucks big time, then you need to get your shit together and start becoming more of a man that most women will want to date.

Women have a list of things they look for when checking for your character flaws. You might not notice this when you are scouring girls to hook-up with in bars since women are really trained to be subtle about the way they filter douchebags from actual gentlemen. If you are scoring high on the asshole scale, then it is time to consider giving yourself a character overhaul. Here are things women check to avoid ending up with total jerks:

The Willingness to Try New Things

Some women may not admit this, but most females hate men who live their lives on the same daily routine. If you have your life set up in a boring cycle, then that may be the reason girls do not want to be with you. You are dull, and women do not like that in a man. They want a guy who wants surprises, adventures, and spontaneous activities. They want to date a man who gives them the adrenaline rush and the idea that the world has a huge list of fun activities to do. They want to have fun with you. They do not want to date a guy who has pegged himself as a hermit at the Himalayas. Stir up your routine, take risks, and spread the fun!

Your Relationship with Your Mother

Most women have daddy issues—that is a fact. Most women look for men who have a healthy relationship with their mothers perhaps because they do not want to end up with a man who treats women abusively, possibly the same way their own mothers were treated by their dads. If you have a good relationship with your mom, then you are on a roll here. However, if you and your mom are not so close because he left you and your dad when you were a kid, then that is another story altogether.

The Wait Staff Treatment

How do you treat the waiters who serve your food during dates exactly? Do you make them feel sorry about having to bust trays for a living? Do you think you are superior to them just because you are their customer? Sometimes, when on a date, it is so easy for some men to get excessively self-absorbed that they forget about the right values when dealing with the service crews. You may think that this piece is irrelevant when it comes to dating, but the truth is women pay attention on how you talk down to other people because that is an indication of how you might treat her in the future.

Do not get us wrong here. We are not saying that you completely have to transform yourself into Ryan Gosling just to score a date with girls. Ryan Gosling is a fine man, hands down, and most women and gay friends we know would gamely open their legs for him. But to score a real date with a great girl, we want you to be yourself—but only the better version of yourself.

There are those times when you find yourself thinking that after a series of flings with girls who have daddy issues, you are now ready for a relationship that is real. You have gone past and beyond the limits of having senseless sex with every girl in your fantasy list, what most bachelors have not even reached yet, that you end up realizing that you are ready to commit yourself into a romantic relationship. Yes, you have exhausted and tried every banging rule listed in your playbook, and the only relationship you want to be in now is the one that does not require you to stealthily leave your current flame’s bedroom at night after a session of wild and messy sex.

But how can you tell really if you are truly prepared to jump into the adult relationship wagon with the knowledge that there is no turning back. This is not something that you just realize overnight, and the only way you can really prove that you are more than set to be committed with someone is through your behaviour and actions. Saying that you can end your days of screwing women who are, at the same time, potential whores is easy. But actually committing to it is a different story. You can say that you want to be in a real relationship the same way you will say you want to try doing meth, but then again, you will realize that meth is not exactly a good idea.

Intimacy, Commitment, and Hooking Up

There is a great push and pull going on with deciding between what you think you want and what you think you actually need. You cannot just say that you really want to be with someone you can call your girlfriend just because you have grown listless and tired of your erratic dating pattern. On the other hand, if you have been spending your late weekend nights hitting the bars looking for easy and, possibly, drunk girls who would be more than willing to hook-up with you, yet you end up going home without a girl each night, then what you really want is someone to bang and not a girlfriend. It is easy to say that you want to be in a romantic relationship, but the truth is, you are simply conflicted with getting intimacy with someone you can call your girlfriend and at the same time having all the perks of a great hook-up.
If you think you want to be in a relationship with a woman, but your behavior towards different women reflects otherwise, then you need to assess yourself for signs that you are truly ready to jump into commitment.

You Have Stop Blaming Your Exes for Your Dysfunctional Past Relationships

Remember when after every breakup you have had you start blaming the other person as the sole reason why your relationship did not work? Now, however, you know that it takes two individuals to make a huge mess out of what is supposed to be a happy, healthy relationship. You can now look back and remember each relationship you have been through without wanting to murder your exes and their current partners. Aside from you finally growing up, you have gone way past the stage of a bitter ex that you now have no evil plans of ruining all your exes’ relationship. You have come face-to-face with the fact that your exes maybe total bitches, but you have a good run with them during your short stint as their boyfriends. You no longer feel bitterness. You may feel a bit of anger with those girls who have wronged you in the past, which is just normal, but you do not feel bitter about your past relationships anymore, which is a huge improvement.

You Stop Hitting Bars like a Predatory Animal

You still go to bars to have fun and drinks with your friends, but you have stop going to bars with the intent of getting a girl that you can take home. Bars are no longer your source of women to prey upon. Instead, you go to bars to meet someone and really get to know her by making plans of seeing her someday in a different environment. By different environment, we do not mean her bedroom. What we meant by different environment is a decent dinner date, the one most self-respecting women would want to go to with a genuine gentleman. If you are in the stage when you no longer find bars as an ocean brimming with women you can hook up with, then maybe you are truly ready for a relationship that requires attention, loyalty, and commitment.

You Do Not Have the Urge to Jump from One Relationship to Another

For some men who are intensely emotional, they think that jumping from one abysmal relationship to another is the solution to finding the right woman they want to end up with in the future. They think that the only way they can escape the trauma of being in a dysfunctional relationship is being involved with another relationship immediately. They have totally ignored the moving on stage since they are moving on with another girl in bed. Fortunately, you are no longer like these men for you have finally realize that forging a new relationship immediately after breaking up with someone is not helping you become emotionally mature about relationships. You have accepted the fact that the only way you can be truly ready for a committed relationship is by being truly able to define what you actually want to get from and give for the sake of making sure that your future relationship will eventually work out for good.

To know the variance between needing a girlfriend and wanting to fuck someone is crucial when deciding about being in a committed relationship. The need to become a boyfriend who loves and the want to become a boy who has a girl to constantly bang are two different things. You must realize the things listed above in order to become truly ready for a relationship meant for mature people.

When it comes to new relationships, it is somehow difficult to check for flaws of the woman you are dating. Most men involved in new relationship are too excited about that fact they are not single anymore that they tend to ignore the clear signs that the women they are dating are out to Hulk smash their pathetic hearts into fragments. Some relationships are doomed to sink big time from the very beginning, but there are a lot of men who put up with their partner’s flaws just to keep the relationship afloat.
While it is a pessimistic point of view that most relationships are destined for failure, it is still crucial for any guy to check for signs that the woman he is dating is not a perpetual heartbreaker. There are smart, manipulative women who are out there to bleed your heart dry in the same way Twilight movies ruined the concept of vampires for you. Do not be such a wuss. Here are red flags you should keep in mind to know that the person you are dating is a man-eating heartbreaker.

#1 She Needs More Space than the Universe

It is great to find a girl who knows what she wants as an individual and sets up personal goals in life. At the start of the relationship, she tells you right off the bat that she is the kind of woman who values her personal space and time. The woman you are dating likes her own space and wants you to respect it that even though you are a couple, there are still things that she wants to achieve as an individual, and those things do not include you.
Although this is a good thing especially for guys who hate women who are too clingy, you still should not be dating someone who values her own space and time more than she values your relationship. If you need to set up an appointment once a week with your girlfriend because she has too many personal things to attend to, then you are in for a heartbreak. Yes, it is important that you respect your girlfriend as an individual who has her own personal goals, but if those goals get in the way of your relationship, then it is time to assess whether she is the right girl for you. It may sound selfish for men to break up with women just because she has career and life goals to pursue. However, relationships deserve time and attention, and if your girlfriend cannot give you that, then breaking up with her is inevitable.

#2 Her Number of Real Friends = Zero

There are women who do not have a lot of friends, which is okay especially if you are the clingy type who wants to be with your girl all the time. However, if the woman you are dating has no real friends, then that is another story. If your girlfriend does not have a single friend who has known her for years and who will be more than willing to write her obituary when she dies, then there must be something wrong with the woman you are dating.

It is either she is a social chameleon who jumps off from one interesting group of people to another or she is a total bitch who scares off people. Friendships are crucial, and knowing that she has real friends who have been with her for years is one clear sign that you are not dating someone who is socially-challenged.

#3 Her Friends are Her Priority

As mentioned above, it is important that your girlfriend has people in her life that she can consider as her real friends. You do not want to be dating a girl who has a perpetual hatred towards mankind. However, if the woman you are dating values her friends more than she values you and your relationship as a couple, then that is also another story.
Having her own set of friends is a good thing since you also do not want her to be that clingy girlfriend who constantly hangs out with you and your buddies. However, if she ditches you and your plans as a couple to say, meet her friends at a bar or spend vacation with them instead of your planned sojourn together, then you should better discuss the matter immediately.

#4 She Does Not Show You Off To Her Pals

A girlfriend who really loves you will always be more than willing to spend time with you, provided that she is not too busy. She is also more than excited to show you off to her family and friends. Once you meet her friends and family, you will be able to tell that she has told them stories about you. Likewise, if she really loves you, she is excited as well to meet your own family and friends.

If you girlfriend does not show any sign that she wants to  you to meet her family and friends or she wants to meet yours, then she is either an assassin who has a secret identity (which is hot, by the way) or she does not see herself having a long-term relationship with you. Although you need a certain amount of time to be in a relationship before you decide to meet her family and friends, it does not need to take as long as say, two to three years. If your girlfriend refuses to show you off to her family and friends, then she must be hiding something from you or she clearly does not see herself with you in the future to warrant such an important gesture.

#5 She Treats You Like a Walking Bank Account

It is cute when your girlfriend asks you for gas money once at the early stage of your relationship. However, if she asks you to give her money constantly even in small amounts, then she might have you pegged more as a bank account than her boyfriend. There is nothing wrong about supporting your girlfriend financially when she really needs it, but if she is asking you money to say, pay for her credit card bills or finance her gambling addiction, then she is clearly just using you.
Even if you are financially stable, if your girlfriend is a self-respecting woman, she would not need you to support herself financially during your relationship. It is okay to give her expensive gifts and take her to luxurious trips, but if she only stays in your relationship because of your fat wallet, then it is time to assess your relationship.

Breaking up from any relationship can be messy, but is inevitable especially when you are dating a girl who is guilty of a few of the things listed above. Save yourself from the trouble of being emotionally invested in a relationship that is destined for damnation. If your girl show signs of these red flags, then you should end the relationship as soon as you can.

It has been around for ages that it has been a drawn-out issue portrayed in poorly written romantic films and television shows. Magazines, books, and even online articles have discussed cheating in a number of ways that the reasons why people cheat are no longer a mystery that deserves to be cracked. Cheating is an innate, deep-rooted personal issue of people who resort so easily to infidelity. Television shows, movies, and articles about cheating may have you given tons of reasons as an excuse for not being loyal to your partner, but behind these reasons lie pieces of truth.

Evolutionary Structure as a License for Cheating

Evolutionary psychologists have linked infidelity to men’s insatiable appetite for sex stating that men are wired to plant their seeds in as many vaginas as possible. These are probably the type of evolutionary psychologists whose own evolution have gone awry that there are penises where their brains should be, said every woman ever. This alibi might give some men the right to cheat on their partners, which prompt most women to ask, “In what cracked-up universe do self-respecting men blame their evolutionary make-up for their betrayal?” Cheating is wrong, and giving your evolutionary structure an excuse for being polygamous is a shitty way of selling yourself short.

Blaming the Relationship

Cheating may post itself as a quick alternative escape to a dysfunctional relationship. It is so easy for some men to blame an unhealthy relationship as their reason for being cheaters. Your girlfriend makes you feel like crap, but it is still not good enough reason for you to cheat on her. Cheating with another woman may be a fast relief from having a dysfunctional relationship since it may make you forget about the worst public fight you have had with your girlfriend, but it does not change anything about your unhealthy relationship. In fact, it only makes things worst for you and your girlfriend especially when she finds out that you just cheated on her.

Cheating Does Raises Your Self-Esteem

Cheating on your girlfriend, regardless of your reason for doing so, damages your relationship. It also takes away the respect people have in you. Some men may take pride of their cheating thinking that being able to bed the most number of women while having a loyal yet clueless girlfriend is some kind of a trophy that needs to be displayed. For most men who have resorted to cheating as a quick way to boost their ego as males, they view having sex with different women as some form of achievement. Knowing that they can get away with it, some men have taken cheating on their girlfriends as a habit. But the glaring truth is, there is no trophy in cheating—only ruined relationships and a series of hospital visits due to the number of STD’s you have caught from the many willing skanks you had sex with.

Cheating is not exactly something to be proud of since no matter what reasons you give to defend your betrayal, it tells something more about you as a person. Your girlfriend may decide to forgive you and forget about your transgressions, but the people surrounding you will always remember. Betrayal and infidelity in secrecy, and regardless of your reasons for doing such an act, is still betrayal and infidelity.

Whether you are in your 20s or your 30s, you must keep in mind that having a good grasp of your strengths and being confident of who you are and what you bring to the table are not the only things you should focus on when it comes to mingling with the opposite sex on a date. Dating is not a one-man show. This means that you do not only have to focus on yourself when you are out on a date. You also need to see how your date plays her part.

She Needs to Play Her Part Too

Sometimes, men are too caught up about impressing their date in order to land a second date that they forget to consider if the girl is really deserving of a second date. Yes, you have to play your cards right to get the girl to agree to see you again. However, you also need to check some red flags to see if she is worthy of your time enough to warrant her a second date as well. It is one thing to get a shot at a second date with the woman you have been wanting to take out on a date, but if you are too focused on impressing the girl you are dating, you might end up looking desperate that you ignore the fact that she is a stuck-up bitch that do not even deserve a first date with a decent guy like you.

If She Does Not Appreciate the Date

A good way to look for red flags about your date’s personality is to check how she appreciates being in the actual date. Is she enjoying herself? Is she bored? It is not enough that she shows up on the venue of your date. If she is there physically, but she makes you feel that she would rather be in her gym pants and oversized shirt sleeping her way through hibernation, then she does not appreciate your effort of giving her a decent date, and she obviously do not deserve to get a second one.

If She Is Being the Entitled Bitch

One clear sign that the girl you are dating does not deserve to earn a callback from you is when she is treating others, specifically the wait staff, poorly. Being rude, no matter what your position is in the society, is never an attractive trait. If she thinks so highly about herself that she is not being respectful of the people who serve your dinner, then you should not think twice about inviting her to a second date. Rudeness is not exactly something that you can change overnight. If your date is wreaking hell over the restaurant service crew that you need to constantly apologize about her behavior, then she is not worthy of a second date.

Never forget that you also have standards, and sticking to those standards when it comes to finding a partner in life is crucial especially if you been through a series of dates-gone-nowhere. Yes, she might be as hot as Kate Upton, but if her attitude is that of the devil who wears Prada, then you might need to reconsider asking her out for a second date.

The most complicated part of getting over an ex is the letting go of her as an attachment figure. Regardless of the length of your relationship, she has been your source of validation and support. She is the one person you can think of turning to for help in times of stressful situations. Likewise, your ex is the person you want to celebrate with when days are great for you. Your ex is your attachment figure since she is the person outside your immediate family that you trust the most.
This is only normal since as human beings, we tend to peg our romantic partners as our attachment figures. Romantic relationships are built on trust, intimacy, and interdependence, and most of the time, our primary attachment figures are the same people whom we share romantic relationships with.

Finding a New Attachment Figure

Getting over your ex is letting go of your attachment figure. This simply means that you have to detach from everything that is related to your previous girlfriend. However, detachment is easier said than done since no one can say that they got over the person they had a relationship with overnight. However, if you are determined to let go of your ex as an attachment figure, the first step is by replacing her and allowing other people you care and love the most to become your primary attachment figure.
This does not necessarily mean that you have to find a new girlfriend since you do not want to have your new girlfriend as a rebound, right? Your new primary attachment figure can be your best friend, your parents, closest sibling, or even a mentor. It does not have to be someone you are involved with romantically. You do not always need to have romantic and sexual feelings for your primary attachment figure to remain close to them.

Get Your Ex Out of the Pedestal

Stop acting like your ex-girlfriend is the best thing that ever happened to you. She might have Kate Upton’s body, Natalie Portman’s face, and Albert Einstein’s brain cells, but these do not mean that she is completely God’s gift to men. Admit it, your ex-girlfriend is not that perfect; no one is in the first place, so stop putting her at the pedestal like she is some Buddha-like presence with the body of a Sports Illustrated cover girl that you need to worship and adore. There are loads of things that you and your best buddies hate about her, and if bad-mouthing your ex is what you need to do to take her off the pedestal, then do so.

Stop Pretending that You Are More than Fine

Breakups are complex, messy, and most of the time, disastrous. It drains you physically, emotionally, and mentally, leaves you vulnerable, and makes you lose your complete faith in humanity.  Everyone who has been through the process of getting over an ex knows that. Breaking up with someone you have been with for years is never easy as evidenced by the number of Adele and Taylor Swift songs that have been ramming up the charts.
When you break up with someone, it is normal to feel hurt, humiliation, and anger. You do not need to pretend that you are okay and that everything will be fine the first day after your breakup. You can cry, get a breakup dog, and drown yourself in alcohol with friends. Denying yourself of the crucial process of mourning over your ruined relationship will not give you the chance to get over the pain. Do not let your pride and your false sense of machismo get in the way of grieving over the end of your relationship. Something that is valuable has come to an end, and it is normal to cry, feel pain, and experience anger. Hence, it is okay to not feel okay.

Avoid Plotting the Death of Your Ex and Her New Beau

Revenge is never a good thing. Most of the time, when emotions are left unchecked, bitterness and hatred make most scorned lovers think that seeking revenge is the best way to get over an ex. Yes, there are people who do not believe that making an ex bitter about the past relationship is by showing her that you are doing completely fine without her. There are people who think that an acid thrown at their ex’s face is the best revenge possible. “Who will love you now, bitch?”
However, destroying her face, kidnapping her cat, and destroying her reputation will not help you get over her and your past relationship. Getting revenge on an ex can only land you in prison especially if what you are planning to do can get you into legal trouble. For sure, you do not want to undergo the process of getting over your ex wearing a jailbird orange uniform.

Go Back Into the Dating World

Getting back into the dating scene can help you detach from your ex, but this does not entail rushing to get involved with someone new in a romantic way. You do not need to hurry love just to get over your ex. That sounded cliché and shitty, but it is true. Dating means getting to know new prospects and focusing on getting yourself ready for a new relationship. Getting back into the dating scene will help you direct your focus away from the thoughts of your dysfunctional relationship with your ex and towards becoming emotionally and mentally available to be a part of a better relationship.
Again, you do not need to be in a hurry in finding someone new to replace your ex. Being in a combined state of pain, depression, and neediness is not exactly the best state suitable for finding romance in your life. Being needy and lonely can only turn women away from you. Women want to date someone emotionally available and not a guy who gets overly emotional each time a Taylor Swift song is being played. Get back into the dating world, but do not rush it. Learn to have fun when you date other women, and enjoy the experience of knowing that there are actually women who are not as evil as your ex—that women are humans too and not sentinels designed to break your heart into fragments.